Call it what you will—contracting, consulting, freelancing, working at home, SOHO, even telecommuting—the solitary life of small business owners, work at home moms, and independent contractors provides benefits unavailable to captive, permanent employees. Despite the benefits, however, there are some definite drawbacks.
Of all the issues raised by both novice and experienced solo small business owners, the problem of loneliness surfaces with the regularity of sunrise. Many solo workers wonder just how to keep from going crazy in the midst of all their freedom.
Give Yourself a Break
A little anger and guilt is inevitable when you hear comments like:
- “You’re so lucky to be able to work at home.”
- “I’d never get anything done if I was a work at home mom. Do you?”
- “Must be nice.” (With irony and without.)
Some of these comments from friends, family, and former coworkers are driven by real concerns, but often they hide (barely) envy, resentment, and fear. Regardless of the root cause, we’re still likely to take them seriously, if only for a few nagging moments. We all expect a smattering of these comments at first. But, to succeed in your avoid people who can’t seem to get over your self-determination.
Remember, you’ve given up all of the comforts of the daily ritual, including breaks, office jokes, lunches, and afternoon coffee klatches. But you’ve also given up the office politics, rampant gossip, and time wasting behaviors-in short, you’ve foregone all of the quirky human elements that make work such a joy but also a burden to many of us.
You’ve changed your life. That’s a tall order and not one to take lightly. You can’t expect to adjust overnight. Still, start substituting positive behaviors for the negative ones you left behind. Go to the gym, run some errands, or walk the dog in the middle of the day. It’ll get you outside and make you remember why you wanted your life back.
Become a Joiner
Join professional organizations, lead exchange groups, community groups, or service organizations. Pick clubs or groups that are meaningful to you and your goals. Almost all professions are represented by at least one trade organization. Many of these groups host monthly or bimonthly dinner meetings that provide continuing education and networking opportunities. Check the Gale Directory of Associations at your local public library or locate associations by searching the Web. Try the Internet Public Library, Weddles, or the various online directory sites.
Connect in Social Networks and Forums
Check in with online social networks or forums on a regular basis. You may be able to use these networks and forums as ways to make business contacts. While that can happen, I’ve found that I learn a lot more about my own business by conversing with others and helping them solve their business problems, rather than actively trying to generate leads online. When you have a question, or simply want to reach out to somebody, there is almost always another freelancer or consultant who will respond and give you a small, but meaningful boost. Look for social networks or groups within a network that cater to your specific business niche.
Keep Improving Your Business Skills
Attend classes. These don’t have to be long-term college courses. In my city, an organization called the Learning Annex provides classes on a variety of topics. Many of these classes are 2 or 4 hours long–enough information to be useful in most cases, but not so much that you’re stuck with an overwhelming time commitment. An added bonus is the numbers of people I’ve met in these classes who share similar interests-after all, that’s why we’re all in the same class. Also, a local community college provides a number of short-term courses. And, you may find courses on some of the on-line education sites like ed2go that can help you improve your business skills.
Hang Out with Other People Who Work at Home
Go to a coffee house, cafe, or other local venue at least twice a week. Find someplace where you don’t have to deeply interact with people, other than to order a snack, but where you can sit, do some work, or just people-watch for awhile. If you like, you can establish low-key relationships with shop owners and other independent workers in your community, which, over time, can provide a strong sense of belonging. If you’re a work at home mom or dad, consider arranging a once-a-week conference with other work-at-home businesspeople. Define a specific format for your conference, in which you spend a fixed amount of time discussing a particular aspect of working at home. Maybe rotate the responsibility among your freelance colleagues. Make sure to set aside a small amount of time to just socialize.
I’ve found these steps helpful in tearing me away from the computer, relaxing my eyes for a few minutes, and putting me back in touch with humanity. And these days, with more and more coffee houses providing free or low-cost wireless access, you may find yourself spending more than a couple of days there. Just make sure you’re really working and not just getting caught up in non-productive coffee house activity.
These are simple, but effective techniques to build a base of business relationships you can use to stay sane and keep in touch while working solo. Without a doubt, freelancing can be lonely. Staying connected requires more conscious effort than it does when working in a captive employment situation.
One other real benefit is that you get to pick the people you hang out with, even if you don’t get to hang out with them as often.
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