Workplace Abuse? Get Help Now!

September 27th is the day that Bloggers Unite! on BlogCatalog.com has picked to unite bloggers against all forms of abuse. I’d like you to take a minute to think about how abuse in some form or another might have affected your life.

What does this have to do with small business? Well, I can think of several reasons why it’s relevant.

• People who are abused as children may be lower functioning adults, as a result. And that means in the workplace, not just at home.

• People who abuse, whether it’s themselves, other humans, animals, or systems, create problems for themselves and everybody else, cutting into creativity and solutions to other types of problems.

• Anybody who has worked for somebody else for more than five years has likely suffered some form of abuse, whether verbal, emotional, or physical.

• Murder ranks very high on the list of causes of death in the workplace.

Employers, managers, or co-workers who engage in abusive behavior may think they are “getting things done” or “motivating” people, but what they’re really doing is expressing their own anger, pain, and bitterness…their basic lack of self-esteem and confidence.

We all get overwhelmed from time to time. We all lose our tempers. We all say things we regret and need to apologize for.

We don’t all engage in consistent bullying, degrading, and abusive behavior.

Feeling Abused?

For those of you who are now or have ever suffered from the abuse of co-workers, managers, employers, or customers, I recommend that you find a counselor, therapist, HR representative, or lawyer about the abuse.

And, read one or more of the following books:

The Bully at Work—A good book on dealing with bullies at work, not just bosses, but others who bully, as well.

Toxic Coworkers—Haven’t read, but appears to be a well-thought of book on dealing with toxic personalities at work.

Coping with Difficult People—A simple but effective guide to dealing with all sorts of difficult people. Categorizes different types of difficult people. I don’t necessarily agree with all of the categories, but this is a good start and a quick read.

When You Work for a Bully—Practical advice for dealing with overbearing bosses.

Take the Bully by the Horns—Haven’t read, but apparently a good book with practical advice on dealing with bullies.

24 Lessons for Bringing Out the Best in Everyone—More advice on dealing with difficult people.

Forgive for Good—Dr. Luskin has done incredible scientific research on the emotional, mental, and physical health benefits of forgiveness. A must read.

Forgive to Live—Another widely praised book on how to forgive and move on.

Accused of Abusing?

To anyone who is accused of being abusive or always feels angry, bitter, and disgusted with those around you, I suggest that you find a therapist now. Your life and contribution to the world are too valuable to waste in a cycle of abuse.

And read one or more of the following books:

Responsibility at Work—A solid discussion of responsibility at work. A must read for managers, in particular.

Don’t Fire Them—How to overcome your frustration and learn to motivate your employees.

It Will Never Happen to Me—Though not specifically a book about the workplace, this is an excellent book about the power of addictions, in our families and ourselves, to hurt and destroy lives. Awareness of the problem is critical to resolution.

First Time Manager—Even if you’re not a first-time manager, you may never have learned the valuable communication skills and management principles detailed in this quick read.

Crucial Confrontations—Confrontations are inevitable in life. But they don’t have to be abusive. This book shows you how to deal with confrontation in a positive, productive way.